By Judah Friedlander
“World Champion” Judah Friedlander tells you How to overcome Up anyone in this insanely hilarious satirical martial arts consultant. larger referred to as an award-winning stand-up comedian, actor, and big name of 30 Rock, Friedlander stocks his adventures in butt-kicking with fortunate readers in a self-defense instruction manual within the gut-busting vein of The fact approximately Chuck Norris.
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Additional info for How to Beat Up Anybody: An Instructional and Inspirational Karate Book by the World Champion
During this bankruptcy, I offer a hundred% concrete facts that i'm the realm Champion. the area Championship is the main coveted athletic occasion for warring parties and martial artists on this planet. you can't input The global Championship. you want to be invited. If you’re one of many best opponents on the earth, the realm Championship Committee contacts you. when you have now not been invited, you're not one of many best opponents. it's a struggle without ideas. If you’re alive on the finish of the struggle, you're the winner. the realm Championship is held at any time when and anyplace the realm Championship Committee comes to a decision to have it. you usually must be ready to struggle. there is not any break day. It’s unlike the Olympics, the place you recognize the place and whilst the development is years sooner than it occurs. You get a choice, after which you need to appear inside half-hour. If it’s in Korea and you’re in Kentucky, you should get there rather speedy otherwise you lose the identify. That’s why I personal a spaceship. the area Championship happens approximately 50 occasions a yr. occasionally it’s as soon as per week. different occasions it’s 30 fits in a single week, after which you’re off for a number of months. listed here are a few images and files from past international Championship award ceremonies which end up that i'm the area Champion. HERE’S a photograph OF ME GETTING the area CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY FROM THE PRESIDENT OF SOUTH the US whilst the realm CHAMPIONSHIP was once HELD IN ZAIRE IN 1998. I USED MY standard top of seven FOOT five INCHES FOR THIS struggle. you will see that HOW MY HEAD IS HITTING THE CEILING AND I’M DWARFING THE PRESIDENT who's 6 FOOT three. This trophy was once speculated to be provided to me by way of the leading Minister of Zaire yet he used to be afraid to fulfill me, so he despatched his brother, the South American President. each international Championship has a distinct trophy presentation counting on the place it’s held. This match had the easiest trophy. Its figurine was once modeled on what the wasting opponent appeared like on the finish of the fit. The figurine’s head has been decapitated; there’s a wide gap within the chest; either arms are lacking in addition to components of either hands; one leg is chopped off; and the best knee is completely destroyed. very first thing I did during this fit was once take out my challenger’s correct kneecap. Then I went to paintings at the left aspect of his physique and ripped off his hand and leg. Then I karate-kicked a gap in his chest and donated his middle to charity. Then I snapped his correct arm off. to finish the struggle, I picked up his severed arms by means of the wrists and karate chopped his head off utilizing his personal fingers. I selected to cut his head off final simply because i wished him to work out the entire harm i used to be doing to him. I don’t keep in mind the guy’s identify simply because not anyone recalls who is available in moment. no longer even him. I met his mom and dad after the fit and so they have been very nice. They stated to me, “You’re the son we continuously sought after. ” I admit, my decapitated opponent’s spouse was once a bit disappointed after the fit, so I took her again to my inn, and she or he had a good time. She nonetheless sends me nude pictures of herself each Valentine’s Day. The trophy has the genuine blood from my opponent on it, which represents ardour.