Download E-books Dance of the Reptiles: Rampaging Tourists, Marauding Pythons, Larcenous Legislators, Crazed Celebrities, and Tar-Balled Beaches: Selected Columns PDF

By Carl Hiaasen, Diane Stevenson

When you imagine the wildest, wackiest tales that Carl Hiaasen can inform have all made it into his hilarious, bestselling novels, re-evaluate. Dance of the Reptiles collects the easiest of Hiaasen's Miami Herald columns, which lay naked the stories—large and small—that display anew that fact is much stranger than fiction.

Hiaasen deals his commentary—indignant, disbelieving, occasionally righteously indignant, and regularly hilarious—on burning matters like animal welfare, polluted rivers, and the damaged felony justice process in addition to the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, Bernie Madoff's trial, and the shenanigans of the hot presidential elections. even if you could have learn Carl Hiaasen earlier than, you're in for a wild experience.

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Even if the stories weren’t in particular style, the motion picture made hundreds cash. The plot revolved round a bunch of bold younger males who illegally raced their souped-up vehicles via crowded downtown streets with a purpose to locate their actual internal selves. well-liked within the solid was once an actor named Vin Diesel, who has given that ascended to big-time motion stardom. Diesel opted out of the sequel, which in its place will characteristic the major-screen debut of Ludacris, the hip-hop performer. ok, so we’re not really speaking Oscar bait. but “FF2,” as it’s fondly recognized round city, bargains a grand chance to teach the display how a ways we’ll visit get their stunt-driving enterprise. Who wishes service provider and Ivory while you’ve acquired quickly autos, scorching babes, and miles of sunny expressways? And what larger technique to exhibit South Florida’s ordinary vistas than during the windshield of a nitro-powered Civic barreling 100 miles an hour down the Turnpike extension? those that gripe in regards to the roadblocks will be reminded that the motion picture creation is pumping reliable funds into our economy—hopefully adequate to offset the millions of labor hours misplaced by means of commuters caught within the gridlock. And in case you say neighborhood movie promoters should goal for whatever loftier than brainless motion flicks, do not forget that the highest-grossing motion picture ever made down the following was once a 62-minute epic referred to as Deep Throat, which earned greater than $400 million. In different phrases, issues quite can be worse. This week, drivers in West Broward can be detoured from definite sections of I-75 and I-595, the place the forged of FF2 is capturing another exciting race scene. If we’re great to them, they could even get back subsequent yr for FF3. during which case we’ll personal loan them the full Dolphin throughway, in the event that they wish, simply because no sacrifice is just too huge within the identify of artwork. October 23, 2005 Will Pythons Deter viewers? Let’s desire So Lock up the children, placed a GPS in your Jack Russell, and make means on the best of the nutrients chain. The killer pythons are the following. viewers to South Florida lately clicked at the tv to work out an X-ray of a 12-footer that had eaten a rotund Siamese cat named Frances. It was once the lead tale at the neighborhood information, sizzling at the heels of an incident within which one other huge python exploded after devouring a six-foot alligator in Everglades nationwide Park. The grisly photographs of that gastronomical Vesuvius obtained front-page play world wide. ultimately, the notice is getting out that pythons are amok within the Sunshine nation. Will this scare an individual away? we will simply desire. Shark assaults, gator maulings, West Nile–oozing mosquitoes, flesh-eating micro organism, killer hurricanes each 3 or 4 weeks—none of those threats has considerably dented Florida’s insane progress expense. An infestation of starving pythons, notwithstanding, may possibly deter strength beginners to our kingdom. huge mammal-eating snakes set off a unique primal worry in our differently cocky species. Sharks cruise and gators lurk, yet not less than we all know the place they hang around. Snakes, nevertheless, cross anyplace they please.

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