Download E-books I Hate Christmas: A Manifesto for the Modern-Day Scrooge PDF

Does the sight of a home festooned in gleaming colored bulbs with an illuminated reindeer within the backyard carry you out in a chilly sweat? Or is the concept of never-ending chilly turkey sandwiches sufficient to make you turn into a vegetarian? And what of the lovely little carol singers - does their out-of-tune wailing and screeching set your the teeth on part? And the oh-so-annoying Christmas albums regularly on play in each crowded store you visit...the jumper-knitting family members pouting to be kissed below a toxic plant...the freezing, darkish mornings that make you would like you'll remain less than the quilt for ever?

If these types of issues make you both are looking to bounce aboard the subsequent plan to Timbuktu or stick your head within the oven in addition to the roast tatties, then this can be the must-have survival booklet for you. locate convenience within the curmudgeonly reviews. chortle on the ludicrous festive evidence. And pity these approximately you who're taken in by means of the silly-season madness.

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Download E-books 2030: The Real Story of What Happens to America PDF

By Albert Brooks

Is this what is in store?

June 12, 2030 began like several different day in memory―and by way of then, stories have been lengthy. considering melanoma have been cured fifteen years earlier than, America's inhabitants was once getting older swiftly. That feels like excellent news, yet think of this: hundreds of thousands of child boomers, with a tremendous usual predator picked off, have been sucking dry merits and assets that have been by no means intended to carry them into their eighties and past. youngsters round the kingdom simmered with resentment towards "the olds" and anger on the treadmill they can by no means get off of simply to retain their mom and dad' entitlement programs.

But on that June twelfth, every little thing replaced: a tremendous earthquake devastated la, and the govt., continually teetering at the fringe of financial disaster, was once not able to reply.
The fallout from the earthquake units in movement a sweeping novel of principles that pits nationwide desire for the longer term opposed to assurances from the previous and is peopled via a memorable solid of refugees and billionaires, presidents and revolutionaries, all suffering to discover their approach. In 2030, Albert Brooks' all-too-believable, dystopian imagining of the place present day demanding situations could lead on us day after today makes gripping and thought-provoking reading.

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Download E-books Mécomptes de fées (Les annales du Dique-monde, Tome 12) PDF

By Terry Pratchett

Une undertaking de tout repos pour trois sorcières de haut vol (Air Balai) : empêcher les épousailles d’une servante et d’un prince. Pas de quoi impressionner Mémé Ciredutemps, Nounou Ogg et Magrat Goussedail. Oui, mais :
1. Ça se passe à l’étranger (beurk !), dans l. a. cité lointaine de Genua.
2. Que faire d’une baguette magique de seconde major qui ne sait que transformer les choses en citrouille ?
3. remark s’opposer au pouvoir irrésistible des contes s’ils sont manipulés par l. a. redoutable « bonne fée » Lilith ? N’est-ce pas le merveilleux destin d’une servante que d’épouser le prince ? Comme celui des mères-grands de se faire dévorer par le loup ?
Tel n’est pourtant pas l’avis de madame Gogol, l. a. sorcière vaudou des marais de Genua.
« enco an piti zassiette di gombo, ma chè ? »

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Download E-books Sh*t My Dad Says PDF

By Justin Halpern

After being dumped by means of his longtime female friend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern chanced on himself dwelling at domestic along with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who's "like Socrates, yet angrier, and with worse hair," hasn't ever minced phrases, and whilst Justin moved again domestic, he started to list the entire ridiculous issues his dad stated to him:

"That girl was once attractive. . . . from your league? Son, allow ladies work out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."

"Do humans your age understand how to brush their hair? It feels like squirrels crawled on their heads and commenced fucking."

"The worst factor you'll be is a liar. . . . ok, high quality, convinced, the worst factor you may be is a Nazi, yet then quantity is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

greater than 1000000 humans now stick with Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and during this e-book, his son weaves a brilliantly humorous, touching coming-of-age memoir round the better of his charges. An all-American tale that unfolds at the Little League box, in Denny's, in the course of excruciating kinfolk street journeys, and, most often, within the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, real portrait of a father-son dating from an important new comedian voice.

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Download E-books The Potty Mouth at the Table PDF

By Laurie Notaro

From the prestigious writer top identified for the Idiot women’ Action-Adventure Club and defined as “the funniest author within the sun process” (The Miami Herald) comes a brand new laugh-out-loud number of essays on rudeness.

Pinterest. Foodies. Anne Frank’s undies. New York instances bestselling writer Laurie Notaro—rightfully hailed as “the funniest author within the sunlight process” (The Miami Herald)—spares not anything and not anyone, least of all herself, during this uproarious new selection of essays on rudeness. With the sardonic, self-deprecating wit that makes us all consider a bit higher approximately ourselves for determining along with her, Laurie explores her contemporary misadventures and explains why it’s no longer her who's nuts, it’s them (and ok, occasionally it’s her too).

Whether confessing that her obsession with deciding to buy cloth has reached junior hoarder prestige or mistaking a friend’s heinous tattoo as transitority, Laurie places her certain spin—sometimes strange, continuously entertaining—on the various perils of recent residing in a mannerless society. From shuddering on the photograph Harry Potter erotica conjured up at a writer’s workforce to lamenting the surprising ubiquity of quinoa (“It appears like larvae irrespective of the way you prepare dinner it”), The Potty Mouth on the desk is whip-smart, unpredictable, and hilarious. In different phrases, irresistibly Laurie.

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Download E-books Douglas Adams's Starship Titanic PDF

By Terry Jones

During this completely gratifying and fully disorienting novel in response to a narrative line by way of Douglas Adams (author of The Hitchhiker's consultant to the Galaxy), Terry Jones recounts an unforgettable story of intergalactic shuttle and mishap. The saga of "the send that can't in all likelihood pass wrong" flickers with wit, hazard, and confusion that may retain readers guessing which truth they're in and the way, on the earth, to discover their approach out again.

At the guts of the galaxy, an enormous, unknown civilization is getting ready for an occasion of epic proportions: the launching of the best, so much stunning, such a lot technologically complex Starship ever built-the Starship Titanic.

An earthling could see it as a mix of the Chrysler development, the tomb of Tutankhamen, and Venice. yet much less provincial onlookers could realize it because the layout of Leovinus, the galaxy's most famed architect. he's an outdated guy now, and the construction of the Starship vast is the head success of his twenty-year career.

The evening earlier than the release, Leovinus is prowling round the send having a final little glance. With mounting alarm he starts off to discover issues will not be correct: unfinished workmanship, cybersystems now not operating competently, robots colliding with doorways. How may perhaps this have occurred? and the way might this have occurred with no his knowing?

Something someplace is extremely wrong.

On the next day to come, in a man-made occasion staged for the media, the Starship vast will depart its development dock below autopilot and, a couple of days later, make its solution to the terminal to select up passengers for its maiden voyage. even though the send might be abandoned in the course of its first actual flight, it's however an important occasion, watched by way of all of the galaxy's media.

Hugely, magnificently, the exceptional send eases its method ahead from the development dock, choices up velocity, sways a section, wobbles a section, veers wildly, and previous to it may possibly do significant harm to every little thing round it, appears to be like to endure SMEF (Spontaneous big life Failure).

In simply ten seconds, the complete, stupendous firm is over. And our tale has simply begun.

Somehow 3 earthlings, one Blerontin journalist, a semideranged parrot, and a shipful of disoriented robots needs to conquer their transformations. It's the one strategy to store the Starship sizeable ("The send that can't in all probability pass Wrong") from sure destruction and rescue the economic system of a complete planet-not to say to outlive the most recent risk, an assault through a swarm of antagonistic shipbuilders.

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Download E-books The Melancholy of Resistance (New Directions Paperbook) PDF

From the winner of the 2015 guy Booker foreign Prize

a strong, surreal novel, within the culture of Gogol, concerning the chaotic occasions surrounding the arriving of a circus in a small Hungarian city. The depression of Resistance, László Krasznahorkai's magisterial, surreal novel, depicts a sequence of mysterious occasions in a small Hungarian city. A circus, promising to reveal the crammed physique of the most important whale on the earth, arrives within the useless of iciness, prompting extraordinary rumors. observe spreads that the circus folks have a sinister function in brain, and the nervous electorate hold to any manifestation of order they could locate tune, cosmology, fascism. The novel's characters are unforgettable: the evil Mrs. Eszter, plotting her takeover of the city; her weakling husband; and Valuska, our hapless hero together with his head within the clouds, who's the delicate heart of the e-book, the single natural and noble soul to be came upon. Compact, robust and excessive, The depression of Resistance, as its significantly talented translator George Szirtes places it, "is a gradual lava circulate of narrative, an enormous black river of type." And but, miraculously, the radical, within the phrases of The Guardian, "lifts the reader alongside in lunar leaps and bounds."

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Download E-books The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon PDF

By Gideon Defoe

After adventures with Charles Darwin, Captain Ahab, and Karl Marx, The Pirate Captain faces off opposed to his toughest—though now not his biggest—challenge but: Napoleon Bonaparte.
 
Bruised from a crushing sadness on the Pirate of the yr Awards, the Pirate Captain makes a decision that it’s time for a profession switch. sooner than lengthy, his unswerving group, a lot to their dismay, locate themselves en path to St. Helena, a bleak speck of an island 1000 miles from wherever. however the Captain’s plan for a quiet existence rearing bees is interrupted by means of the arriving of one other customer to the island—the lately deposed Napoleon Bonaparte. Is the island’s twenty-eight mile circumference sufficiently big to include of history’s maximum egos? Has the Pirate Captain ultimately met his fit? And who has the simplest hat?  once more, Gideon Defoe has given us an exhilarating, swashbuckling story of lavish tea events, making plans rules, and uncooked political ambition.

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