Download E-books Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism! PDF

By Dave Barry

The recent York occasions calls him “the funniest guy in America,” and his legions of fanatics agree, guffawing and snorting as they positioned his books on bestseller lists nationwide.

In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave provides us the true scoop on:

• The medical look for the world’s funniest funny story (you can guess it comprises the be aware “weasel”)
• RV camping out within the Wal-Mart parking lot
• Outwitting “smart” kitchen home equipment and repair contracts
• Elections in Florida (“You can’t spell Florida with no ‘duh’”)
• The Olympics, the place humans from world wide come jointly to accuse one another of cheating
• the reality in regards to the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui
• the alternative among loss of life and taxes
And a lot, a lot more—including a few truths approximately journalism and severe options approximately 9/11.

Dave Barry received the Pulitzer Prize for observation in 1988, and his columns are syndicated in additional than 500 newspapers. His newest books, Dave Barry isn't Taking This Sitting Down and the novels mammoth Trouble and Tricky Business, have been nationwide bestsellers. He lives in Miami, Floriduh.

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There are dozens of those events, subsidized by way of huge enterprises with a honest public-spirited wish to develop into better. We newshounds crash those events in order that we will be able to convey you the “inside tale” on what the political “bigwigs” are doing “behind the scenes. ” What they're doing, it usually seems, is status round speaking approximately what different events they plan to visit. not anything newsworthy ever occurs. yet we newshounds retain attempting to get in; we're like moths drawn to a highway gentle, hurling their little moth our bodies time and again opposed to the glass, pushed through a strong typical intuition to acquire unfastened company liquor. hence it used to be that i discovered myself status on a rain-slicked Philadelphia sidewalk with a fellow journalist named Joel, attempting to get right into a “tribute” subsidized by means of Daimler-Chrysler Corp. for Rep. J. C. Watts, who's the main famous African-American Republican in Congress, within the comparable feel that Ringo was once the main well-liked drummer within the Beatles. This social gathering featured leisure by way of the enticements. (Other entertainers at this conference include—I swear—Dick Clark, obese Checker, the 4 Tops, the Shirelles, Bobby Vee, and Bo Derek; strict Republican bylaws limit appearances by means of any performer who has had any form of hit in view that 1974. ) regrettably, the protection humans wouldn't allow us to in to work out the enticements, so we stood open air and watched the Republicans “jiving,” as basically Republicans can, to the graceful sounds of the nice Motown staff, whose dance steps have been as spectacular as ever, despite using walkers. even supposing i used to be now not admitted, I loved myself, and that i suppose no bitterness towards Daimler-Chrysler Corp. , whose automobiles explode on touch with purchasing carts. issues perked up whilst Joel and that i latched directly to Robert Novak, a conservative pundit with a tan like a site visitors cone. He was once jogging to a celebration being thrown for him and a few different CNN humans through an organization referred to as “Sallie Mae. ” In Republican circles, Novak is Elvis: humans have been calling out his identify and applauding him as he strode alongside. At one aspect, I swear, an incredibly excited guy sprinted part a block to trap Novak and breathlessly file that he used to be going to run for Congress opposed to Dick Gephardt. “Great,” stated Novak, nonetheless jogging. “The early polls glance first-class! ” acknowledged the fellow. He looked to be at the verge of wetting his pants. “Great,” acknowledged Novak, no longer slowing down. “This is breaking information, Bob! ” shouted the guy to Novak's again as Novak strode quickly away, his tan radiating into the damp Philadelphia night. simply because Joel and that i had latched on, lamprey-like, to at least one of the honorees, we acquired into the occasion, which was once jammed with humans conversing approximately what events they have been going to subsequent. one of the luminaries available was once billionaire Steve Case, who begun the United States on-line. i attempted to begin a talk with him, yet I saved getting bring to a halt. (Rim shot. ) yet heavily, it was once an exceptional get together, within the feel that there has been loose beer. i would like every person analyzing this column to determine what “Sallie Mae” makes and pass purchase a few of it.

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